Cultivating hope so deep it can't be shaken

This week, we’re talking about cultivating a hope so deep it can’t be shaken. This is a hope that isn’t a fluffy, cotton candy feeling, that melts at the first sight of rain, but a hope that is enduring--that understands the current moment in its entirety and believes with a steadfast faith that we will indeed prevail. 

Last week Brene’ Brown hosted former president Barack Obama on her podcast Unlocking Us on this very topic. Whether you are a fan of Obama or not, please consider reading what he has to say about hope. If you would like, you can listen to the podcast in its entirety here:

Brene starts the segment on hope by sharing about the Stockdale Paradox.  Admiral Stockdale was tortured many times as a prisoner of war in Vietnam.

In an interview for his book, Good to Great, author Jim Collins asked Stockdale about his time as a prisoner of war, “Who didn’t make it out?” 

Stockdale replied, “That’s easy, the optimists. Christmas would come and go, they thought they’d be out by then, they thought they’d be out by Easter.” 

Stockdale goes on to say, “You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end, which you can never afford to lose, with the discipline of confronting the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they may be.”

(Interlude: I couldn’t help but think of all the times in 2020 I said or heard the words, “In a few weeks, when things are back to normal….” then, “In a few months…….” then, “By summer……” and finally, “By the fall……”

For me, this unfounded optimism melted away after the first few weeks, and transformed into a blend of realism and enduring hope that we would persevere (at some still unknown point in the future). I do attribute this shift from innocent optimism to a more grounded faith as what has helped me persist throughout the extra rocky parts of this year. 

Now, when I hear someone say, “Thank goodness for the New Year……” I find myself feeling a bit uncomfortable. The Stockdale Paradox helped me understand the reason for my discomfort. 

2021 doesn’t hold a magic reset button for “normal”. ** (See below if you’re interested in a soap box rant). The reality is, there are advancements that are going to help us move out of this period, but it won’t magically happen on 1/1/2021. 

My wish for January 1, 2021 is that we each walk over the threshold of the new year to a place where we can deepen the roots of our hope to endure no matter the current circumstances. 

Now, let’s go back to Barack and Brene as he speaks about hope. Obama starts by speaking about how he responded to critics of the campaign’s focus on hope, saying it was unfounded given the reality of our nation.

Obama: “Read that speech carefully.” I’m very particular in saying, I’m not talking about blind optimism when I’m talking about hope, I’m talking about the hope of slaves sitting around the fire singing freedom songs. I’m talking about hope in the face of uncertainty, hope in the face of difficulty…

The people I tend to admire most, whether it’s the Nelson Mandelas or the Abraham Lincolns of the world, the Mahatma Gandhis, they are folks who fully absorb the tragedy of their times, of their moment, and don’t sugar-coat it…..

And it’s only after they have absorbed that pain, that hardship, whether it’s the Civil War or the oppressive nature of Apartheid or the challenges of colonialism in India, it’s only after you fully absorb that, and then you still insist, “We will prevail.”...

That’s when there’s a depth to your hope. It’s hard won, it’s not easy, it’s not based on, “Everything is always going to work out.” It’s not premised on the notion that progress is a straight line. Because progress zigs and zags, and sometimes it goes backwards before you go forward, and if you can get there, then I think you can get stuff done…..”

Obama goes on to talk about how he never intended to run for President--being so new to the national political scene--but how the campaign took on a life of its own. 

Obama: “I win Iowa, which nobody expects, because I’m running against much better known Hillary Clinton and Iowa is 98% white and rural, and everybody’s so excited.

And then a week later, I lose in New Hampshire. We were all favored to win, the polls showed we were going to be up by 10. And I describe in the book how although Iowa showed I might get elected President, it was the loss in New Hampshire that actually showed my staff and my supporters that I might actually be able to be a President….we had incorporated Yes We Can into our victory speech…. it was a huge surprise for us to lose. And what I actually told my speech writer was, I said, “Other than acknowledging the loss and congratulating Hillary Clinton, let’s not change the speech, let’s talk about Yes We Can, let’s talk about what our vision is.” So it was a good example of the fact that I was going to give the same speech whether I won or lost, because the point wasn’t this momentary event in New Hampshire, the point was, “What’s our broader vision for the country?”

The meditation below is all about digging down deep to find our, “Yes, we can…” in the face of current circumstances. 

This meditation is based on Richard Grant’s article in Smithsonian Magazine, the theory and science behind how trees communicate. Visit the full article here: 

Take three pieces of paper. (You will keep one of the pieces of paper, but you will let go of the other two.) 

For this meditation, you will want 3 pieces of paper and a writing utensil. We will be moving in and out of the meditation to journal.

**Me pulling up my soap box: Part of my hope is based in my desire that some things never go back to “normal.” I hope we never fall asleep to systemic racism. I hope we never settle for complacency because it’s comfortable. I hope we never go back to the hustle and bustle of the unexamined busyness of our schedules. I hope we always work to set boundaries that work for us with our loved ones and the world. I hope we continue to realize the financial disparity in our county, and work to fight for basic human rights and dignities for all. I hope we continue to be creative in our ways of connecting with one another. I hope we remember the connection of the trees, and the support systems we have in place if we stop long enough to behold them.

Of course, I hope we are all able to do all of the above with more ease, more hugs, and more in person celebrations in the New Year.

Blessings to you in the New Year. May you remember a hope that can’t be shaken!

Jodie